Darth Visor's Greatest Hits

In eight weeks, college football stadiums will be full as college football returns and that can mean only a couple of things, Notre Dame will be over rated, Miami will make an off color CD, and Steve Spurrier will give everyone classic quotes.

Here are just a couple of the all time classics:

• “I’m not planning on losing a whole lot. I understand it’s a possibility because there are no Vanderbilts in the NFL. But I’m not a real good loser. I don’t really want to get good at it,'' on going to the NFL to coach the Redskins.


• “We pitched it around in the USFL. We pitched it around at Duke. We pitched it around at Florida. I came here to see if we can pitch it around in the NFL. I don’t see why we can’t,” on making the Fun and Gun work in the NFL.


• “Can’t spell Citrus without UT, ” Spurrier said about the Vols after they failed to beat the Gators every year and ended up spending their New Years in Orlando. There is even a program to prove it.


• ‘’You know what FSU stands for, don’t you? Free Shoes University,’’ after a couple of FSU players were charged with taking free shoes from Foot Locker.


• "We’ve always heard rumors about them (FSU). We’ve always suspected. They’ve beaten us four out of five years in recruiting. Heck, maybe they’re the greatest recruiters in the world. But maybe there are other reasons that those guys go there. Those guys always say they feel ‘more comfortable’ going to FSU. Well, maybe we’re starting to realize what that ‘more comfortable’ means,’’ Spurrier going on about FSU.

A Bald Ronaldo or Sir Alex?

Last year it was a couple of pounds bet about goals now Sir Alex and Ronaldo have taken it the next level. Like something out of a WWE storyline, Ronaldo has given Sir Alex the bet that if he scores 20 goals during the next season the gaffer will have to shave his head, if he does not then the Player of the Year will have to. The thing about this bet is that both of them spend hours on their hour each day and either one of them bald would be funny.

Dick Vitale meet Ray Hudson

Few many loose their mind like Dick Vitale, but one man that is up there is Gol TV commentator Ray Hudson. The similarities between the two are prices less. Both were former coaches that lost their jobs, Vitale with the Detroit Pistons and Hudson with DC United and Miami Fusion of Major League Soccer.

Both have a strange man crush on a player. Vitale has his world know crush on the former Duke poster boy and GLAAD member JJ Redick, while Hudson has a crush on Boca Junior midfielder Juan Roman Riquelme.

"Genius, genius, genius. Absolutely superb strike. And look, not a smile! What makes this guy smile? I mean, come on, Roman, give us a look, give us a smile, baby. I mean, is there anything more exquisite in life than watching this man play football? Look at this! Perfection. [...] That is an orgasmic goal, Phil. We said he treats them like penalties -- that's what he does. Enjoy him while you can, enjoy him at the World Cup next year when he's wearing that beautiful blue and white's World Cup shirt for Argentina. The man is magic," Hudson say about the playmaker

Both have been know to go crazy at different times. Vitale going nuts here. Hudson loosing his mind at the end of the Spanish League not once but twice.

The New Tinker Man

Move over Claudio Ranieri, there is a new Tinker Man in the town. Over the course of the Gold Cup United States National Team manager Bob Bradley (pictured above) has been just like the successful Italian. The hell with keeping the same line ups, we are just going to keep changing it up.

• In their first game against Guatemala Bradley sent out this line up: 1-Tim Howard - 2- Frankie Hejduk, 3- Carlos Bocanegra, 13- Jonathan Bornstein, 22- Oguchi Onyewu, 5-Benny Feilhaber (81: 12-Jay Demerit), 6- Michael Bradley, 7- DaMarcus Beasley, 8-Clint Dempsey (61: 9-Ed Johnson), 10-Landon Donovan, 20-Taylor Twellman (71: 14- Steve Ralston).
• In his next game against T&T, he totally changed things up: 18 – Kasey Keller (GK) (capt.), 5-Benny Feilhaber (46’: 10 – Landon Donovan), 9 – Eddie Johnson (72’: 20 – Taylor Twellman), 11 – Brian Ching (65’: 6 - Michael Bradley), 12 – Jay Demerit, 14 – Steve Ralston, 15 – Frank Simek, 16 – Michael Parkhurst, 17 – Jonathan Spector, 19 – Ricardo Clark, 21 – Justin Mapp.
• In the final group game, Bradley changed things up against El Salvador: 1-Tim Howard - 4-Pablo Mastroeni, 5-Benny Feilhaber, 6-Michael Bradley (64: 11-Brian Ching), 7-DaMarcus Beasley, 8-Clint Dempsey, 10-Landon Donovan-C (46: 20-Taylor Twellman), 13-Jonathan Bornstein, 16-Michael Parkhurst, 17-Jonathan Spector (81: 15-Frank Simek), 22-Oguchi Onyewu.
• Then its the knock out stages against Panama and her puts out a different group: - 1.Tim Howard; 2- Frankie Hejduk, 22-Oguchi Onyewu, 3-Carlos Bocanegra (capt.), 13-Jonathan Bornstein; 6-Michael Bradley, 4-Pablo Mastroeni, 10-Landon Donovan (19-Ricardo Clark, 89), 7-DaMarcus Beasley; 20-Taylor Twellman (14-Steve Ralston, 71), 8-Clint Dempsey (11-Brian Ching, 84)
• Against Canada it was a totally different line up again: 18-Kasey Keller (capt.); 2- Frankie Hejduk, 22-Oguchi Onyewu, 3-Carlos Bocanegra, 13-Jonathan Bornstein; 6-Michael Bradley, 4-Pablo Mastroeni (19-Ricardo Clark, 89), 10-Landon Donovan, 7-DaMarcus Beasley; 9-Eddie Johnson (5-Benny Feilhaber, 80), 8-Clint Dempsey (20-Taylor Twellman, 88).

I understand with Copa America starting next week their is a need to play type of different players, but this is getting nuts.

Team Building Hurts

Redskins safety LaRon Landry wanted to part of the team so bad he hurt himself. During a team building paintball trip he hurt his groin, and missed part of the his first mini camp. That has to rank up there with Jeff Kent breaking his wrist while washing his car.

Bring me the Devil

Just when you thought United were done in the transfer marked, now they are moving in for the biggest fish out there, Carlos Tevez. Reports all over the United Kingdom are saying that a deal for the player, that kept West Ham United in the EPL, are close to being finished up. Adding the Devil to the Anderson, Nani, and Hargreaves would almost secure the title for next year and maybe the big eared cup too.

I just have one question where have all of Liverpool's signings been, I thought that their American owners were going to open the check book. So how long is it until Rafa says he wants to leave again.

Money Talks

So maybe I was wrong and the Nationals are committed to winning.

The Nationals showed commitment duing this weeks Major League Baseball Draft. Instead of taking guys that were considered easy signs, the Nationals rolled the dice on a couple of top high school pitchers that were considered tough signs: LHP Jack McGeary (above), Massachusetts and LHP Josh Smoker (below), Georgia.

Right now with the Nats set up the way they are, they are not going to be able to go out and spend all kinds of money on a front of the rotation guy, but it appears that Jim Bowden and the rest of the staff has been given the money to spend on highly rated draft picks. With both McGeary and Smoker the Nats will have to buy them out of the their college commitments: McGeary to Stanford and Smoker to Clemson. It will take at least a cool million to get them signed, but you have to think that these Bowden will be given the money to get these deals done. If both of them pan out, it would give the Nats two good left handers at the top of the rotation and as everyone knows, the Nats need pitching.

Overall, this draft appears to have set down the grown work for the Nats to work their way back to respectability.

Paging Brien Taylor and Todd Van Popple

As a baseball fan of team that is terrible, the draft and the Futures Game are one of the only things to get excited about. After reading a mock draft on MLB.com, I suddenly was not looking forward to finding the next Ryan Zimmerman or Chad Cordero. I felt like we would be looking for the next BJ Wallace instead.
One of the people that the Nationals are looking at is Phillipe Aumont, he is from Quebec, yes Canada. There are great baseball players all over the the college game like Todd Frazier, Matt Wieters, and Casey Weathers, why would the Nationals take a guy with a hockey name, easy cause it cheaper to pay a guy from Quebec.

• Complete Major League Baseball Draft coverage.
• MLB.com

Now this is a Golf School I want to go to

Move over Butch Harmon and Dave Peltz, there is a new golf school in town and its run by the Nutter with the putter. The folks at T-Shirt 365 have created the official shirt. During a training trip to Portugal before Liverpool's Champions League game against Barcelona, Craig Bellamy struck a team mate with a golf club after a fight at a karaoke bar. The swing was so good he decided to start his own golf school.

Manchester United offseason shopping almost done

A league title and now all of this cash to throw around. United appeared to have completed their off season spending before the summer really gets going. Last week United agreed to a transfer fee with Bayer Munich for Owen Hargreaves, now today the Red Devils have raided Portugal and gotten the two best young players out of it: Anderson from Porto and Nani from Sporting Lisbon.

Owen Hargreaves = 17 million pounds

Anderson

and Nani = 35 million pounds

A holding midfield in Hargreaves, a kid that is compare to Ronaldinho in Anderson, and the next Cristiano Rolando in Nani. Complete coverage of the moves here. By the way, has the oil rich nation of Chelski made any moves yet, oh wait there was that Steve Sidwell move.

NFL Europe and AFL: Where college starts go to die

Every year, college football players have dreams of playing in the NFL, but some times that does not happen. But instead of playing at the Linc and Giants Stadium, they end up playing in such football hotbeds as Amsterdam and Hamburgh, and maybe in some area's like the Comcast Center.

Some of the notable players in NFL Europe

• Omar Jacobs QB: He was a quarterback at Bowling Green that put up great numbers and then left early for the NFL Draft and was picked by the Steelers and fell out of favor.
• Cody Pickett QB (pictured): The former UW quarterback, cowboy, and part time starter for the 49ers.
• Cedric Humes, RB: The former Virginia Tech Star now wishes that he was back in Blacksburg, cause Amsterdam is fair away from NFL greatness.
• Quentin Griffin, RB: Won a national championship at University of Oklahoma and played well while a member of the Denver Broncos.
• Greg Lee, WR: Once was considered the next Larry Fitzgerald while at the University of Pittsburgh, seems like everyone was wrong.

Some of the notable players in Arena Football League

• Chance Mock, QB: The former University of Texas Quarterback that was replaced by the new Madden cover boy. The rest as they say is history.
• Andy Kelly, QB: During the football season, he is one of the people that you see on ESPN Classic the most. He was one of the first good quarterbacks at Tennessee.
• Sonny Cumbie, QB: Texas Tech quarterbacks in the AFL match made in heaven.

Here is a complete list for NFL Europe and the AFL.

The Worst Trophy in Sports

Every year in Germany teams fight it out to be called the best in the Budesliga and what is their prize, the worst trophy in the sports. The trophy is not much more then a dish (pictured below). Leagues no matter what sport, have great trophies: NFL, Major League Baseball, and the EPL Trophy. This trophy should have chips and salsa around it, now that would be a great use for it. Does anyone think that Bundesliga Trophy was separated at birth from the Wimbledon Ladies Championship Trophy (Below).

Tank Johnson NFL Man of the Year 2018

Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson has some great career goals. One of the them now is to be NFL Man of the Year. Traditionally the Man of the Year award is given to a player that gives back to the community. Lets just remember he just got out of jail on weapons possession charges and could face a suspension from the league for his actions.

''One day I want to be the face of the league for guys who have come through adversity,'' he said, adding it's his goal to one day be named the Walter Payton Man of the Year, according to the Chicago Sun Times. ''That would be a tremendous ending to the story.''

I'm sure NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell want this man being the face of the NFL.

The Drama of the Final Day

There is no drama like the final day of the EPL season and this year it was no different, as superman aka Carlos Tevez led West Ham United to survival, while Wigan beat Sheffield United, leading them to staying up and sending Sheffield to the Coca Cola Championship. Here are a couple of photos that sum up the drama of the day.

Superman after the final whistle sounds

They joys of staying up for the Hammers

Wigan avoid the drop and Paul Jewel is just a little happy,

so are the fans of the little club that could.

While the Blades face a year in the Fizzy Pop League

While at the other end of the league United get their trophy back

After last years World Cup few thought we would see this

The drama of the final day is spelled out here and it's well worth reading.

You thought Sweet Lou was nuts

Over the course of the last three years, no mangers has made as many off the wall comments as the special one, Jose Mourinho, the Chelski manager. In baseball the standard for comments after games is Cubs manager Lou Pinella, but overall the Special One makes Sweet Lou look like a school girl.
Here are some of the Special Ones' Special lines:

• “I saw their players and manager go for a lap of honour after losing to us in their last home game. In Portugal if you do this, they throw bottles at you,'' about Manchester United two years ago.


• "I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.” on Arsene Wenger.


• “Barcelona have a great club. But in 200 years of history they have won the European Cup only once. I have been managing for a few years and I have already won the same amount.” During the Champions League in 2005-2006.


• "As we say in Portugal, they brought the bus and they left the bus in front of the goal. I would have been frustrated if I had been a supporter who paid £50 to watch this game because Spurs came to defend. There was only one team looking to win, they only came not to concede - it’s not fair for the football we played.” about London Rivals Spurs.


• "Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.”

That is just a small sampling of the gems from the Special One for more go here.

The Power of the Prince

Move over Rickey Henderson, there is a new speedster in town. Prince Fielder, yes the same Prince Fielder that is a hero to the big guys all over. According to ESPN.com Fielder is listed at 6 foot tall and 262 pounds.

Two different times this week, the large son of Cecil has beaten out plays at the plate. Ask any catcher in Major League Baseball if they want to block the plate when that train is coming and they most likely will say "no way." After a good rookie year, last year, Fielder is starting to star for the improving Brewers. Fielders has already been named NL Player of the week and his is currently hitting .295 with 10 HR and 29 RBIS.

Fielder has been in the public since he was in middle school. Fielder was once the spokesperson along with his father for the McDonalds triple cheeseburger, and appeared with his father MTV's Rock and Jock Softball game.

The Championship has come home

Manchester United are back where they should be, champions of the EPL. The title was clinched when the oil rich nation of Chelski could not beat the Arsenal U-30 team. You can recap all of the drama from today game here.

Here is how the title was won part 1 and part 2.

The NFL Draft Madden Style

The Madden craze is all over the place, to who is going to be on the cover to what the new rookies look like. CNNSI.com has posted all of the first round picks and what they are supposed to look like in the game.

Here are a couple of them

Calvin Johnson

Ted Ginn Jr. (note the foot looks pretty good)

Brady Quinn (it took me about an hour to get to his photo, because they went in the order they were selected in.)

Brandon Meriweather (notice gun not included)

Greg Olsen: complete with 7th Floor rap crew CD

Move over Arsene

The FA has a new person that they are after, its not Arsene Wenger, and really its not a person at all. The FA is going to call a hearing about the sending off of Kingsley the Lion, the mascot of Reading Football Club. Kinglsey was sent off during win over Newcastle last week for making abusive gestures toward the ref. At the time the ref thought it was a Reading player that was making the gestures.

"Ref Mike Riley sent off Kingsley during Reading's 1-0 win over Newcastle. The FA officials confirmed the 6ft 5in furry-suit-wearing cheerleader faces an official warning,'' The Daily Mirror said.

Here is so video of Kinglsey during a happier time. I really think The FA has lost it. These are the same people that brought us Sven, to the 10 year construction of their new national stadium, to banning a mascot for a couple of games, The FA really covers a lot of ground.

Is Brian Brohm the next Brady Quinn

Gone are the names of Johnson, Quinn, Adams, and Peterson. They are now replaced by the names of Brohm, Sweed, and Long. Its never too early to look ahead the NFL Draft class of 2008. Quarterback Brian Brohm passed up being a first round pick this year and decided to head back to Louisville for his senior season, just like a former Golden Domer with a pale girl friend. Hopefully he will not $20 million fall through his hands, like the domer did.

Here is a list of some of the highly rated 2008 prospects.

Welcoming back some old friends

As the NWO used to say, ""We're getting the band back together.''

That is what is going to happen next year in the EPL. With results going the way they did in the Championship ole United boys Roy Keane (pictured above punching a Chelsea player during the Community Shield) and Steve Bruce will bring their boys up to EPL. Keane, who took over at Sunderland after four games, is best know as being the Captain for so many great United sides.

In a year when the Devils are going for the treble you can only think back to his performance in Italy against Juventus that took them to the Champions League Final and Glory. After picking up a yellow card early in the second leg of the semi against the Italian power, Keane knew he was going to be suspended for the final. So Keane put the team on his back and willed them into the final against Bayern Munich. Most consider it one of the best games every played by a player.

While Bruce, who is the current manager at Birmingham City, was also a midfield general at Old Trafford.

So with Bruce and Keano on their way back to the top of English football United are starting to take over. In addition to Mark Hughes at Blackburn and Sir Alex at United, there will be four managers with ties to the Red Devils.

Is John Clayton real?

Anyone who is anyone is at the NFL Draft for ESPN, but one person is missing John Clayton. He is there in his usually via satellite situation. Over the last couple of weeks I've started to wonder if the Seattle native, who looks like the puppet (right) in the Saw Movies, is real.

I do not think that I've seen him in studio at ESPN or any where live. Usually when you see him he standing at some field in the middle of nowhere or he is being brought in with a background of Seattle behind him.

So this weekend, when all of the questions are answered about the future of players, there is one that still remains: Is John Clayton real?

This ranch is not big enough for the both of us

Over the past decade Mel Kiper has had the NFL Draft all to him self, but this year that has all changed. ESPN has brought in Todd McShay, Scout Inc., to help out with the NFL Draft. Kiper and McShay are totally different.

Here is a break down of how they stack up.

Hair Color:
McShay (left): Dark Brown
Kiper (right): black hair with lots of gel in it. Makes an Pedro Martinez gerry curly look clean.

Voice:
McShay: nice and mellow
Kiper: a voice that only Bill Tobin could love

Playing Experience
McShay: Tried to walk on at the University of Richmond, and was a little used defensive back
Kiper: Never put on a jock

Interesting Tidbit
McShaw: Scott Van Pelt has yet to nail his impression of him.
Kiper: He has stated that he eats a slice of pumpkin pie everyday for breakfast.

As you see the end of Kiper is coming and coming fast and GMs all over the NFL thank you.

"The Jump" out of the League

Three years ago Ian O'Connor spent a whole season with then hot shot high school senior Sebastain Telfair detailing it in a book named "The Jump." Only a couple of years after that book came out, Telfair has had a falling out with his second NBA team, and could be on his way out of the league for good. Earlier in the week, Telfair was arrested on gun charges and the Celtics have had enough of the Coney Island Prodigy.

"I wanted to let you know that we have removed Sebastian's nameplate from his locker in Waltham. The facts and circumstances of his case have not been determined but he does not have a Celtics locker and we do not anticipate that he will," Celtics managing partner Wyc Grousbeck wrote in an e-mail to The Boston Globe on Tuesday.

This is not the first time that he has been involved in an hand gun incident, back in Feb. 2006 he was involved in the similar incident. Then he was also involved in an incident where a chain was stolen from him. Just to make things worst Telfair was featured in the Teairra Mari music video to "Make her Feel Good" It just seems that trouble always follows him everywhere.

The NFL Draft is the greatest way to waste time

From Peter King to Mel Kiper. From Russell to Quinn. You can kill a whole day on the Internet reading stuff associated with the NFL Draft. While looking around the Internet on Monday I found another great website to waste time, Rookiepedia. Its like Wikipedia, but with just draft eligible players, what are they going to think of next.

Hey everyone makes mistakes

Ryan Anderson, Carlos Pena, Joe Borchard, Drew Henson (pictured), and Dennis Tankersly. Those are the prospects that were ranked ahead of 2006 American League MVP Justin Morneau in the 2002 list of prospects. Baseball people say that scouting is an inexact science and boy were they right with this class. While some in the class like Josh Beckett, Hank Blalock, Joe Mauer Mark Teixeria, and Jake Peavy have made a huge impact on the came, the group is dotted with train wrecks and in Henson and Borchard two over rated quarterbacks.

Here is a list of some of the top 15 prospects from the Top 100 list:

1. Josh Beckett Marlins
2. Hank Blalock Rangers
3. Sean Burroughs Padres
4. Nick Johsnon Yankees
5. Mark Prior Cubs
6. Wilson Betemit Braves
7. Juan Cruz Cubs
8. Ryan Anderson Mariners
9. Joe Borchard White Sox
10. Mark Teixeira Rangers
11. Nick Neugerbauer Brewers
12. Carlos Pena Rangers
13. Jon Rauch White Sox
14. Dennis Tankersley Padres
15. Drew Henson Yankees

Hey on some list Morneau was behind New Jersey native Jack Cust, ya I have no clue who he is either. The Nationals have two of the top 15 on this list and they are not named Teixeria and Beckett, that might explain why they are so bad.

Its all about the cake

For a week Rutgers women basketball coach C.Vivian Stringer went on a world wind tour about how her girls were offended by Don Imus's comment about the national runners. So now that Imus is in the process of being paid off, Stringer is back in the news. During the media tour, Stringer said it was about the girls getting their names back and not about her getting better recruits or making more money. But that all changed on Wednesday when Stringer signed a book deal with Crown Books to write her autobiography. Wonder how much cake she is getting for this book deal.

"The reality is that she has led an extraordinary life and is very inspiring and a role model for women," said an official with Crown books said.

Ok she is a good coach, but she is not in the same league as Pat Summitt or even crazy Geno at UConn. They both have countless National Championship titles compared to her zero.

This deals comes from the Imus situation, I wonder how many chapters of the book will touch on Imus. I bet there will be no mention of her recruitment of Shalicia Hurns and why she was thrown off the team. I also hope that she addresses why Cappie Pondexter missed half a year a couple of years ago. Those are just a couple of suggestions for chapter topics.

Its not the south of France

Come 2012, European soccer team supporters will get to spend their summer in Poland and the Ukraine , yes Poland and a former Russian Providence. Earlier this week, UEFA announced that the Euro 2012 would be headed to Eastern Europe and people around Europe could not be happier.

Instead of spending a nice summer in south of France, Spain or Greece. Fans are going to spend their time in the former home of the communism. At this rate I hope that the NCAA does not decide to award the Final Four to Des Moise, Iowa.

The Dream Final

You think the English FA is not happy. The first FA Cup back at the home of soccer is going to a cracker as Chelski and Manchester United face off for the oldest prize in the sport. Could you see a thrilling 3-2 game, that people talk about for generation. But more in line with all things English it will probably be a 0-0 game that bores even me to sleep. So on May 19 the eyes of the soccer world will be on the home of soccer again.

Sweet Lou is at it again

It only took Lou Pinella two weeks before he popped his top with the Chicago Cubs. After a Friday afternoon loss to the Reds, Pinella let the press have it.

"What the hell do you think isn't working? You see the damn game.''

Then this classic:

"And then I bring in the reliever who's throwing 30- to 40-foot curveballs to boot. I can see. I can start to see some of the ways this team has lost ballgames. I can see it. We've got to correct it obviously. ... This game here is one that got away from us that really shouldn't."

While he was at it Pinella took a shot at his ace Carlos Zambrano:

"This guy is your ace, you got a 5-0 lead with the eighth and ninth hitters coming up, you feel pretty good about that inning and all of a sudden it turns into a six-run inning.''

But Sweet Lou is no stranger to great quotes here are a couple of old school ones:

• "I cussed him out in Spanish, and he threw me out in English."
• "Statistics are like bikinis. They show a lot, but not everything."